...or 'On Suddenly Encountering 200 Americans on a London Tube Train'

It happened just the other day.     I was on my way home from visiting a friend and had managed to sit myself on the Tube opposite a woman who was smiling back. In fact, the extent to which she was smiling back was beginning to alarm me - either she actually did fancy me or I had managed my normal trick of accidentally drawing all over my face in green biro without noticing again.

    There were only a few people in the carriage - me, her, and her four friends: two blokes and two women. They were Scandinavians of some description, and were alternately looking at me, then her, then me again, then laughing. She was young and pretty, but she was not my girlfriend, and I made a mental note to try not to smile at her again, which lasted about 30 seconds.